Run your Race with Courage!

If you've ever asked yourself the question, "Why am I here?" or "What is my purpose?" that would have been the beginning of your quest to figure out the answers along your journey. You would begin to realize that your life has meaning.  You would start living your life with an awareness that transcends beyond the physical world.

I began my quest as a child.  For as long as I can remember I've always had this strange, yet very normal, awareness that my life was a classroom.  It was going to teach me so many valuable lessons.  I was going to be tested many times.  I was going to graduate to different levels of learning many times as I passed each test.  I would grow and mature spiritually all the while knowing that I would remain a student for my entire life.  Final graduation would not come while in human form.  Final graduation would come when my spirit was allowed to return home. 

Having this view point has allowed me to view "death" differently.  I view it as a crossing over.  I call it my "homecoming".  It will be the beginning of my life, where I'm allowed to live for eternity, and share what amazing lessons I've learned on earth. It's the day when all wisdom and knowledge will be made known unto me; all of life's lessons will be understood.  It's the day that I get to review my entire life.

For me, to have this vantage point means that I accept ALL things in my life as good.  All things come to teach me and to help me grow.  I embrace life lessons whether they are viewed as good or bad.  I live my life according to Romans 8:28 which says, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose". 

So I ask you to think on this.  Do you live your life with an outward view?  To live this way would be to walk around with a flash light always shining on someone else.  Constantly looking at their journey, their mistakes, their life lessons, their blessings.

For some, it might be easier to live this way because you don't have to look within and be taught your own life lessons.  Those lessons will not go away however.  They still come, they still teach, and you can either pass or fail the test.  If you’re too focused on "others" from a competitive viewpoint then you will not pass your own test.  Soon you will wonder why the same trials and tribulations continue to show up in your life. 

Remember, ALL things work together for our good so your "trial" or "test" is not "bad" at all.  It's just an opportunity for growth.  Life (our teacher) will not let you fail.  Life will give us the same test over and over again until we pass. 

Imagine a race with ten lanes and ten runners.  Will the runner that continues to look at his fellow teammate's location win?  Will he continue to stay in his lane?  Will he be prepared to jump the hurdle in front of him with his head turned?  It's like Paul said in 1 Corinthians 9:24, "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it”.  We each have our own individual prize!  God has designed each of us with our own individual purpose, task, and mission.  Obtain your prize! 

Be careful when you judge someone else’s journey or race.  We should never judge others. We don't know what course God has planned for them.  To the outside world their course might look undesirable but from God's vantage point their course is perfect for their growth.  If you are focused on running your own race then in the end the lessons will be learned.  ALL things work together for our good!

We should always be in prayer for one another.  We also have an enemy roaming the earth that would love to get us off course.  Not all experiences in life are from God.  For this reason we should constantly keep one another in prayer. 

I personally pray for each person in my life.  I pray Isaiah 54:17 which says, "No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment shall be condemned".  When a family member or friend asks me to pray for them my prayer is simply, "Lord, let thy will be done in them".  I don't know what God has planned for them, but praying that His will is completed in them is praying for God's perfect will to be done in their life. 

I embrace my journey.  I embrace and even welcome my tests.  I know that with each one, once I have passed and learned the lesson, growth is inevitable.  I actually get excited for my test because I know I will graduate to another level.  This level is not physical or material, it's a spiritual maturity.  It's a piece of the veil that is removed from my eyes.  In the end, on graduation day, the remaining veil is removed and all things are shown to me.  What a glorious day that will be!

Until then, I challenge you to embrace your life and lessons it will bring.  Remember that ALL things work together for YOUR good.

From this moment on the flashlight should be shining on your own head so that you can win your race.  Once your race is won you can enjoy the win with the other runners, cheer for the ones that are still running, and share your experiences with each other.  It wasn't a race of "competition" but a race for continued growth in love and spiritual maturity.  Your growth can be shared and all of the runners can learn from one another.

I believe that we are all ONE and as we grow in humility, unconditional love, and kindness towards one another, we shall cause goodness to grow and manifest into this world continuously.

Caringpurelove

My 2011 Life

Wherever I go and whatever I do, I notice life. Not like I used to. Not as I'm rushing out to make my appointments on time. Not as I rush to eat a piece of toast, as if food is a burden in that moment. Not as I'm on the phone with a client daring my kids to talk in the background.

I notice life.  The birds singing outside of my bathroom window as I'm getting dressed.  The trees blowing and dancing in the wind as I'm driving down the highway.  The cardinal that has just landed outside the window of a house I'm showing to a client.  The beauty in my children’s voices as they play, laugh, and scream.

The pure, innocent, joy of my life.  In it nothing is ugly, judged, or a burden.

Lately, I've noticed the little things in this life that I was too busy to notice before.  I wonder why now?  What's changed within me that life now has new meaning and purpose?  What matters most to me is LIVING and NEVER again taking life for granted.  Oh, how far I've come.

And to think that in 2012 my Creator will remove another piece of the veil!

Come Up Here Human Video by Jason Upton

I LOVE this drama presentation! It reminds me that regardless of what we go through in life our spirits can rise above it. It also reminds me that God loves all of us. While you might still be sitting in bitterness, anger, hate, etc for the person that has wronged you; that person might have asked for forgiveness, lived a life of happiness and love, and will see you in heaven one day. In the spiritual world I don't believe we are capable of "feeling" hate. We love unconditionally because that's what we are. So, when you see that person there will be no judgment or resentment.

I also believe that we will have to judge all of our own actions, words, and deeds while on this earth. So if that person has wronged you or you have wronged someone else, you will feel the hurt and pain of that judgment. Your "punishment" (for lack of a better term) in the end will be this:

To BE unconditional love in your true spiritual form and have to watch all your words, deeds, actions of hate, anger, or resentment. To have to watch yourself being something you're not. To have to watch all the people you love the most be hurt by something you did. That is what I believe our judgment will be - to judge ourselves in our own life review.

I try to live my life with that vision in my head. It's a constant reminder that when I'm not walking in love with my neighbors I am not being my authentic self. I also think of how I will feel one day watching how I might have hurt someone else. For this reason I am always quick to ask for forgiveness. I acknowledge my wrongs. I own my faults. Once I have done this - I forgive myself knowing that ANY unforgiveness will hinder me from loving you or myself unconditionally.

My vision then turns to this: God standing before me face to face, puts his hands on my shoulders and turns me around. I turn around to see a sea of people that goes so far back I see no end. God whispers in my ear, "Look at all you have blessed. Well done my good and faithful servant".

Your life (every action, deed, word) is a ripple effect. Let the ripples of unconditional love flow.

CaringPureLove

Mother Teresa's Commencement address at Harvard University, 1982

As the new graduates go out, I thought that the prayer of Cardinal Newman is most fitting for them, so that, in going into the world, they go with Jesus, they work for Jesus, and serve him in distressing guise of the poor. Dear Jesus, help us to spread your fragrance everywhere we go. Flood our souls with your spirit and life. Penetrate and possess our whole being so utterly that all our lives may only be so in us that every person we should come in contact with may feel your presence in our soul. Let them look up and see no longer us, but only Jesus.

- From Mother Teresa's Commencement
address at Harvard University, 1982

This prayer is still fitting today for all of us. It doesn't matter if you are starting a new phase in your life with college, the work force, or a move to a new state. In whatever we do and wherever we go, my prayer is that we take Jesus with us in our heart and soul. The light of his word and presence will illuminate out of us so that the world may see his glory and love through us. My biggest life lesson and I believe the most important life lesson overall is this - learning to love and be loved unconditionally.

Tonya

Today is my Born Day

I feel grateful to see another birthday.  That's all I have for today:) 

Peace & Love...........CaringPureLove

Portrait of an INFJ

I took this test again just to make sure it was consistent each time.  Yep, each time it was.  Interesting........but so very true!  Who would have thought a test could describe who I am in a nutshell?  I'm reluctant to post this but I hold nothing back;)  This test is pretty close to my personality but I will say this.....none of us can ever be "boxed" in and as I continue to view life as a "classroom"I am constantly "tested".  I have passed many tests and have grown as a result.  If I fail a test, life will make sure to teach it to me again and give me a retake.  I don't ever want to feel like I've "arrived" or have learned all I could on this earth.  I just want to close my eyes when God calls me home and here Him say, "Well done my good and faithful servant".  That desire is what keeps me in "learning mode".

---

As an INFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in primarily via intuition. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit with your personal value system.

INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types.
 
INFJs place great importance on having things orderly and systematic in their outer world. They put a lot of energy into identifying the best system for getting things done, and constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives. On the other hand, INFJs operate within themselves on an intuitive basis which is entirely spontaneous. They know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand. They are usually right, and they usually know it. Consequently, INFJs put a tremendous amount of faith into their instincts and intuitions. This is something of a conflict between the inner and outer worlds, and may result in the INFJ not being as organized as other Judging types tend to be. Or we may see some signs of disarray in an otherwise orderly tendency, such as a consistently messy desk.
 
INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations. They get "feelings" about things and intuitively understand them. As an extreme example, some INFJs report experiences of a psychic nature, such as getting strong feelings about there being a problem with a loved one, and discovering later that they were in a car accident. This is the sort of thing that other types may scorn and scoff at, and the INFJ themself does not really understand their intuition at a level which can be verbalized. Consequently, most INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand. INFJs hold back part of themselves, and can be secretive.
 
But the INFJ is as genuinely warm as they are complex. INFJs hold a special place in the heart of people who they are close to, who are able to see their special gifts and depth of caring. INFJs are concerned for people's feelings, and try to be gentle to avoid hurting anyone. They are very sensitive to conflict, and cannot tolerate it very well. Situations which are charged with conflict may drive the normally peaceful INFJ into a state of agitation or charged anger. They may tend to internalize conflict into their bodies, and experience health problems when under a lot of stress.
 
Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ stubborness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. They believe that they're right. On the other hand, INFJ is a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential. INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves - there's always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them. They believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments. They have strong value systems, and need to live their lives in accordance with what they feel is right. In deference to the Feeling aspect of their personalities, INFJs are in some ways gentle and easy going. Conversely, they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families. They don't believe in compromising their ideals.
 
INFJ is a natural nurturer; patient, devoted and protective. They make loving parents and usually have strong bonds with their offspring. They have high expectations of their children, and push them to be the best that they can be. This can sometimes manifest itself in the INFJ being hard-nosed and stubborn. But generally, children of an INFJ get devoted and sincere parental guidance, combined with deep caring.
 
In the workplace, the INFJ usually shows up in areas where they can be creative and somewhat independent. They have a natural affinity for art, and many excel in the sciences, where they make use of their intuition. INFJs can also be found in service-oriented professions. They are not good at dealing with minutia or very detailed tasks. The INFJ will either avoid such things, or else go to the other extreme and become enveloped in the details to the extent that they can no longer see the big picture. An INFJ who has gone the route of becoming meticulous about details may be highly critical of other individuals who are not.
 
The INFJ individual is gifted in ways that other types are not. Life is not necessarily easy for the INFJ, but they are capable of great depth of feeling and personal achievement.
 
 
 
Jungian functional preference ordering:
Dominant: Introverted Intuition
Auxilliary: Extraverted Feeling
Tertiary: Introverted Thinking
Inferior: Extraverted Sensing

Me as a teenager

OK, so I realize that if I don't share my writings from over 20 years ago (when I was a teenager) the paper will continue to turn brown and they will be lost forever.  The writings are not perfect and it might not have proper grammar but it will give you a glimpse into who I am.  It will show a child that was trying to belong in a world that I really didn't "belong" to.  For those that knew me back then what they knew was my "shell".  The part of me that was trying to make it into a world that I viewed as "cold".  I had very few people back then that cared enough to look beyond the shell.  Those few people searched and discovered the core of who I really was.  I am now happy to say that as of today I am FREE to be ME:)  I now know my purpose in this life and my life has a whole new meaning.  What an awesome God we serve! 

The way I felt as a child I guess would be the same as the The Psalmist that said, "I am a stranger on earth" (Psalm 119:19a). The phrase, "wherever I lodge," in verse 54, literally means: "in my temporary house." According to Hebrews 11, the "heroes of the faith" "admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth" (verse 13). Peter describes his Christian readers as "aliens and strangers in the world."  God's people, Christians, should always feel somewhat out of place in this world. They ought to feel like strangers, pilgrims, aliens, like "ducks out of water," out of their proper environment. 

The above paragraph was quoted from an article I recently read that I immediately connected with.  Here is the link if you would like to read the full article.  http://www.crcna.org/pages/zondervan_psm119.cfm

The first writing I will share was a paper my English teacher asked the class to write after she read a story about "The Wall".  Here is what I wrote:



THE WALL

I never really had any affection or even knew the purpose of the wall.  But after hearing my teacher read "The Wall" to the class, it has touched my heart in ways I can't imagine to explain.  I don't know any names on the wall but here I am sitting in my desk with the feeling of chills running down my spine.  I think, "Why"?  God never wanted us to live like this.  Everyone is in the same boat, we're family.  It's time to make a change but where does it begin?  I know I want peace.  As sorry as I am to say this....I don't think that unrealistic dream will ever happen.

CaringPureLove

Here is another piece that I wrote as a child.....

I AM

I am a caring and loving girl that nobody notices
I wonder why people hate and almost never appreciate life
I hear the sounds of demons taking over the world
I see everyone getting along and loving each other
I want peace
I am a caring and loving girl that nobody notices

I pretend that I am a bird flying high in the sky
I feel the pain of knowing I have enemies
I touch my family when I do good
I worry what it's like to be dead
I cry about the way we live and how I live
I am a caring and loving girl that nobody notices

I understand that nobody is perfect
I say I want peace
I dream that it will only come true
I try to do the best I can in school
I hope my future children live a worry free life
and not have some of the problems we have today

I am a caring and loving girl that nobody notices.

CaringPureLove

Here is another poem I wrote.  Back then I lived such an introverted life that as a child I was very shy, didn't let anyone behind my own wall, and just wanted to know that I would be loved.  I thought about my future often......will I get married, have children???  Many, many questions of the future but deep down knowing that this world didn't offer the God kind of love (agape love) that my life was void of feeling from humans.  It was an artificial type of love and as a child I felt that it was artificial and it grieved me.  I felt like "life" was letting me down.

LIFE

Day by day life gets harder and more complicated.
And day after day your feelings for me starts fading.
I wonder of so many things in life;
Is there life after death?
Who will I marry?
Will I have a baby to carry?
But more and more as I wonder
I figure out I'd rater be within heaven
With God and birds and spirits and stars
Or I'd rather be alone by myself,
some place like mars.

There's nothing more in this world that I want then to exhale.
But it seems year by year,
Day by day,
minute by minute,
and second by second,
I inhale the faults in life.
I can't help but to hope and pray I will be a wife.
Somebody wife.
Anybody wife.
But that I'd be loved and you would appreciate me.

Don't let me down life, I need you, as you can see.

Please, help me!

CaringPureLove

**In case you are wondering, my reference to being a wife was my way of asking "life" or "God" will I ever feel that unconditional love here on earth?  The void in my heart at the time was a void from that love existing on this earth.  It amazes me that as a child who didn't grow up with God really being taught in my home, I still had an awareness of God.  I knew that I came from and belonged to Him!  I will post more of writings from my teenage years later (as I feel led to).

Peace by Jason Upton

I absoultely LOVE this song. I don't care how many time I hear it, I can never get tired of it. I sometimes feel like I can't effectively articulate what's in my heart to the fullest. It's not because I don't want to but more that I don't know how to commuicate a feeling or "knowing" in my spirit that I know is not of this world. At times I get frustrated because of this limitation that all I can do is just let myself go into music that I feel communicates what's in my heart. At times the music doesn't have words, just melody. This is one of the few songs that it does have words and it speaks to my heart.

Love is beautiful.....that means YOU are beautiful!

Love is so beautiful! God is love and we were made in His image therefore we are love! We are a spiritual being created out of love having a human experience. Our human experience is to help us grow into knowing who we really are. We are  unconditional love, we are beautiful.....ALL of us!

Embrace every challenge in your life; it's there to help you grow into knowing who you really are. To choose unconditional love every time is choosing to be your authentic self.   Never resent or dislike the person or thing presenting the challenge, they are a part of your spiritual family and they are a part of your growth process.  You cannot grow in love and evolve to your authentic self (like you desire to do) without embracing all challenges and realizing that they come to assist you.

ALL things work together for our good.  ALL things!

~Notes from my journal

Religion is not something you can dictate

Religion is not something that you and I can dictate. Religion is the worship of God, and therefore it is a matter of conscience. Each one of us must decide how we are going to worship. In my case, the religion that I live and the practice is Roman Catholicism. It is my life, my joy, and the greatest proof of God's love for me....I cannot force anyone to accept my religion----just as no man, no law, no government can legally demand that anyone reject a religion that promises them peace, joy, and love. Mother Teresa

As for me, I choose to have more of a personal relationship with God.  He resides and lives in my heart.  He is the stillness in my being.  He is the "knowing" in my spirit that guides me through this life.  It is that spirit that allows me to grow in love, kick aside judgment, and live a life FREE of rejection.  To shake off opinions of others and just be FREE to love them regardless-----that to me is living a golden life!  Whether I leave this earth tomorrow or 60 years from now, I will leave it with peace, joy, and love.  If my purpose on this earth is done and that just so happen to be next week-----you should rejoice anyhow!

Caringpurelove