Tuesday, October 13, 2015
Monday, October 12, 2015
Abruptly Awakened 3/2015
If you didn't point it out,
I would have no doubt.
I would have no doubt.
If you would have allowed me to remain blind,
I would have lived with it just fine.
I would have lived with it just fine.
If you would have let my heart sleep,
I would not have felt every beat.
I would not have felt every beat.
You won't stop shaking me awake.
You won't let me be numb to fate.
You won't let me be numb to fate.
Why must you challenge my fear?
Why must you wake up my tears?
Why must you wake up my tears?
I was content with waiting for paradise somehow,
But you just had to tell me that paradise was now!
But you just had to tell me that paradise was now!
Why did you wake me up so forcefully?
My eyes are wide open even if it happened with a ball of fire.
Everyday I can walk around awake now,
I don't have to wait until I retire.
Come, let's celebrate.
We have discovered heaven on earth.
Rarely is it discovered -
Love in the fourth dimension.
But why do I feel like we will be awaken abruptly once more?
Like we have dimensions yet to be discovered or explored?
Love in the fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth......
Wow, wouldn't that be great?
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Technological Black Hole
In a world of millions but don't know a soul.
A million smiles, a million hellos, a million photos.
Wake-up!
I wrote that poem a few years ago. I saw this video that reminded me of it and I have decided to share it. The message from the video is "Disconnect to Connect". I couldn't agree more!
A million smiles, a million hellos, a million photos.
A million of everything but still feel so cold.
Damn this world, a technological black hole.
Damn this world, a technological black hole.
How do you do?
As they walk right past you.
Won't stop long enough for you to ever get through.
As they walk right past you.
Won't stop long enough for you to ever get through.
So back in your shell you go.
What good is a million smiles when not a single soul you know?
What good is a million smiles when not a single soul you know?
Phone in their face, can't see you wear are frown.
Only if they stopped to take a selfie will they notice your face is down.
At least you thought they did, but that was all fake.
As they looked up and said, "You didn't smile, we have to retake."
Only if they stopped to take a selfie will they notice your face is down.
At least you thought they did, but that was all fake.
As they looked up and said, "You didn't smile, we have to retake."
Not a single soul will stop long enough for you to respond, "Hello," but can you really blame them when to them you are invisible?
You walk away the same and say, "Actually, I'm not ok today," but your reply was taken by the wind who's now become your only friend.
You walk away the same and say, "Actually, I'm not ok today," but your reply was taken by the wind who's now become your only friend.
Wake-up!
I wrote that poem a few years ago. I saw this video that reminded me of it and I have decided to share it. The message from the video is "Disconnect to Connect". I couldn't agree more!
Monday, October 5, 2015
Here I stand
Here I stand. I'm spiritually cut open into a million pieces. All that I thought I knew bleeds out. My body is emptied of any memories of the past. Like autumn trees, I let go of everything dead. Fill this empty shell back only with the spirit I was born with. Wash away the stench of this world. It can be so cruel. So hard. I'll let all of that bleed out of me on this altar. Let the only thing remain be the root of what you planted in me in my mother's womb. I came with it and I will leave with it. Wash me clean of everything else. You are the water to my soul. All I know is who I am. All I will leave with is who I am. All I am is all that you are. I'm finally fine with only being that and only leaving as that. My life would have been lived GRAND with being that alone. Nothing less than that. I'm content with being made by love of love. I'm content if I'm the only one that knows this truth. This is not my final resting place. When I go home I only care to see your face. So, every night as I stare in the mirror, take me home to the center of my soul. As I stare at all that I am, I hope to also stare at all that you are. Here I stand. I'm yours. Do as you please.
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
How God Revealed To Me Cancer and Saved My Life
A prayer written
October 2014
Dear God,
I have felt as though I could not journal, write, pray, or
read for awhile now. I go through these
stages in my life where I don’t really feel anything but numbness – if you can
even feel that. It seems that autumn
always draws me back from my state of non-existence. I start to observe nature and the very obvious
change in season. It reminds me that I
am a part of this earth. Just as the
seasons change, I find myself also changing.
Fall is my time of reflection. It’s
when the entire year for me is brought before my eyes and the lessons taught
are put to the final test. I’ve prepared
all year for this final. My preparation was
on the job training. From October thru
December I will transition into seeing how it all comes together. How does it all play out God? You’ve already taught me that this teaching
and test doesn’t really have a pass or fail ending. I already know that until I take my last
breath, the lessons are never ending. My
answers are never really wrong either. Each
choice I make comes with a lesson. Each
turn I take has an experience. If only
we could see what it was prior to opening the door, but I would imagine that
life would be boring if we knew everything up front. How would we ever learn anything? Each year I go through this process but I
have to admit, this year seems different to me.
I have to figure out why. Why am
I so numb? Why do I have to force myself to read or journal? What am I not allowing myself to feel? I know we all have guides that are unseen
that help us through this journey. I
also know that they will help us once we call upon them for help.
Well, Guide Angel, I need you to help me feel again. Help me see what I cannot see. Help me learn the lessons. Help me grow.
Help me in all other areas I don’t even realize I need help in.
Amen.
Written August 30,
2015 after re-reading my prayer above:
Hindsight is 20/20.
As I reflect and read my previous journal writings, I get deeper
revelation of that saying. I now
understand why I couldn’t feel anything when I wrote that in 2014. I didn’t feel like myself. I have always been very intune with
myself. To lose my sense of home (my
inward world filled with so much peace and comfort) was devastating and
scary. How would I manage in this world
without my sense of self?
It all makes sense to me now. I was reminded of a very powerful dream I had
five years ago. It prophetically played
out for an entire week like a pilot series of dreams. I watched each episode eagerly waiting for
the next cliff hanger until the finale.
The finale came and it was like any other finale, unexpected. I watched myself say goodbye to everyone I
loved dearly. I told family members to
take care of my children. I drifted off
in what felt like the most amazing sleep ever from this life into the
next. I was in paradise and although I
was happy and felt the love of paradise, I knew that I was leaving my loved
ones too soon. The premier of my
prophetic series started out with what seemed like bad news. “You have cancer and you need to go home and
get your house in order. Tell your
family and friends,” she said so bluntly.
I can still remember every detail of her face. I can still remember me sitting on her exam
table in shock thinking, “How could this happen? I’m too young for this.” As I walked to my car I felt nothing. I was numb.
I couldn’t cry. I told my family
and I assured them that it was not a big deal.
If I wasn’t worried about it, they shouldn’t worry about it either. I abruptly woke-up and immediately knew it
was my spirit and body warning me of something.
Should I go to the doctor? Maybe
this is why I’m in so much pain. All of
these thoughts continued to race through my head the entire day until finally I
prayed the most desperate prayer I had ever prayed before. I prayed, “God please, you have to come to me
again and tell me what all of this means.”
I begged God to give me another dream explaining to me what this
meant. What am I supposed to do? Little did I know God had already shot an
entire pilot series.
The next night I raced to bed and was ready to hear from
God. He did not disappoint in appearing to me but I
was left even more confused. This
episode was strange. I was sitting on a
yellow school bus as the only passenger with a driver that I did not know. This HUGE, bright, white light appeared
behind my right shoulder and spoke to me the entire episode. I felt like the mystery of the universe was
being revealed to me. Unfortunately, it
was to my subconscious mind only because my conscious mind could not remember a
thing when I woke-up. All I could
remember of the secret was that I had to subconsciously agree to the
instructions. Whatever they were I cried
and kept saying, “No, no, no.” This
beautiful light of what felt like pure love comforted me and revealed to me the
big picture of it all. Once I saw how my
agreeing would help with the big picture I immediately stopped crying and I
agreed instantly. Just that quick the
episode ended and I opened my eyes with amazement. I was amazed to experience the presence of
pure love (which has appeared to me before in dreams always leaving me wanting
more experiences). I spent my entire day
comforted by the remnants of pure love that penetrated my spirit in that dream. I was willing to be a yielded vessel but I
also felt extreme sadness in my spirit.
I felt like I had just agreed to the ultimate sacrifice. My connection and bonds on this earth would
make it very hard to experience anything as painful as what I felt when I was
yelling, “No, no, no,” as I cried uncontrollably. I must know what was said! I thought it was very irresponsible of me not
to remember. I blew it! God has revealed to me what I’ve been praying
for Him to show me and I can’t even remember! Ugh!
So again, that next day I prayed. This time I prayed all day (even writing some
of my prayers down). I begged, cried,
and poured my heart out to God. “No more
guessing. Tell me once and for all what
I agreed to. Make it plain.”
That night as I laid my head down on my pillow I said one
final prayer. “God, all of my life I
have been able to hear you, please come to me again and show me what you have
said.”
There I was, watching this time.
If we as humans transformed into a spirit and if you can imagine that
spirit as the wind – that’s what I was.
I had no form. I could not be
seen by those acting out the scene. I was
a spirit that could see, hear, and feel.
I watched as the finale started.
The opening scene was me on the operating table. The room was sterile and all white except for
the bags of blood being spun in a machine.
And just that quickly I was being wheel chaired out of the hospital as
the doctor said to my husband, “Bring her home and make her comfortable.” I had surgery to remove the cancer. They informed my husband that they have done
all that they could and that I would need palliative care. The next scene I watched as I laid on the
sofa in my home. I couldn’t talk. I had very little energy. All I had was my thoughts. The entire time I am trying to talk and speak
to get my husband’s attention. He was
too busy running around the house trying to get everything organized for
me. In my thoughts I was screaming for
his attention, but in reality nothing was coming out of my mouth. Suddenly, I feel pain and grab my neck. I’m not sure what a seizure feels like but I’m
pretty sure I was having one. As I
watched as an observer, it hits me and I immediately thought, “OMG, I’m dying!” Once I realized what was really happening my
spirit was no longer an observer. I was
now in my body experiencing it all. I
immediately thought, “Wow, this is beautiful.
Death isn’t as scary and awful as we’ve painted it out to be!” It felt like I was about to doze off into the
most amazing sleep of my life. As much
as I wanted to “fall asleep”, I kept fighting.
“No, I can’t go yet,” I said in my thoughts. I knew that I had to continue to get my
husband’s attention. I’m not sure how I did
but finally he walked up to me and I was able to tell him my final words. “Take care of my children,” I said in a very
weak voice. He promised me that he
always would and I was able to go to paradise.
I woke-up in tears.
How could you let the main character die God? How could she leave her young kids? That’s when God spoke to me and said what I believe
saved my life. He said, “This was only a
pilot. Go to the doctor. This is a warning.”
Now, I rewind back to the beginning of my post. Hindsight is 20/20. 2011 is when I had my pilot episodes. I immediately started to get checked out and
my test revealed things I would not have known otherwise. One finding however was incidental at the
time and the thyroid nodule was insignificant.
Fast forward to October 2014 when I wrote that I didn’t feel like
myself. Something didn’t feel right and
it was affecting my emotional state as well.
Again, I went to the doctor and things were revealed but only as a “watch
and see.” Here I am almost a year later
and hindsight is 20/20. I recently had a
follow-up appointment to check a nodule and it has grown tremendously since it
was last checked. I was told I needed to
remove it and officially have it biopsied since the last two FNA (fine needle aspiration)
were inconclusive. I am scheduled for
surgery this week and I have faith that God has revealed something that needs
to be addressed now so that it does not become a problem later.
Words will never be able to fully express my gratitude. I have always had prophetic dreams and I have
no doubt that they have extended my life.
I have learned so much from all of this:
1. Death
is not the end of life. Death is walking
out of one door (earth), into another door (paradise). Death is no different than a baby being born. If babies have thoughts and a remembrance of
where they came from, I would imagine they would probably view birth as
death. They have no clue what’s about to
occur. They go through this dark tunnel
and can see light at the end that they somehow know to go towards. Just as babies could view birth as death, we
too can view what could be a birth into a new life as a death. I now see it as closing one chapter of my
journey and starting a new one.
2. Always
pay attention to your body and your intuition.
The truth lives in us all. You might
not recall everything in your conscious state but the subconscious is connected
with the all-knowing. Your intuition is
your subconscious trying to guide you.
We all have a purpose and mission in life and God wants us to complete
it.
3. I have
realized that we are all made up of the universe. We are all connected. We are all one with God. I was fully made aware that I subconsciously
agreed to something that really had nothing to do with me. It was bigger than me. Every purpose on this earth is to increase
the energy of love and light. It is to
evolve past the ego and tap into the divine that lives within us all. Once you see and are aware of the God that is
in you, you will also see it in everything else on earth. From every other person to nature. The divine is the thread that links us all
together in the tapestry of life.
4. We all
dream. We don’t all remember our dreams
but we all dream. Start asking and
praying that if God is trying to speak to you through your dreams, you remember
them. God can speak to us in so many
different ways and for me this particular avenue has allowed me to experience
his love as a tangible force. It’s truly
amazing!
I no longer feel numb.
I have been given back my zeal for life!
I am scheduled to have surgery this week and I ask that you pray for me
and send me loving light and energy. I
promise to do the same for you!
The greatest take away from all of my experiences so far in
this life is this:
It’s ok to make mistakes.
It’s ok to get lost. How can life
teach you about a God that saves if you’ve never been lost? How can you evolve and grow into your higher
self if you don’t make mistakes? How can
you ever come to know the God in others if you don’t first discover it in
yourself? Love yourself because in doing
so you are also loving God. The next
time you look in the mirror know that you are manifested love that we call our
Creator. He created you and poured His
very spirit within each cell that makes up the whole of who you are! So from one manifested love creature to
another, I love you!
Tonya
Ya'll know music is my life right? Well, THESE songs and so many others have been my lifeline!
Monday, May 11, 2015
Fighting a Fixed Fight
She struggled to continue to stand with every punch that life threw at her. For years she endured gruesome blows that even the greatest fighters would not take standing. They were so intense but she refused to fall. Finally one day she surrendered to it all and she fell hard. She was tired of fighting this fight. As her frail body crashed to the ground and her fighter spirit felt defeated, everything moved around her in slow motion. She laid prostate beneath the world moving around her, but something amazing happened down there. On the ground is where she surrendered it all. On the ground is where she lost all control. It wasn't so bad down there! On the ground is where she found God. It was at her weakest that Her Creator made a deal with her. On the ground is where He exchanged her weakness for His strength. He told her that if she gave in to the punches, He would be the face that would endure it. He told her that the fight she was fighting was never meant for her to face alone. That day she learned the true definition and meaning behind the words surrender, faith, love, grace, forgiveness, and mercy. She realized from that moment on, owning a dictionary wasn't worth much anymore.
Some lessons in this life cannot be taught with words. Some words are too big to be defined. It's only through experience that you can learn the true meaning behind something so grand. It's only through falling that you discover the God that lives deep within you.
Stand up and fight once more knowing that this time you don't fight alone. No, this time you know that this fight has been fixed.
I have always loved this song. We have the Creator living inside of us and we all have the capacity to love others just as we are loved by our Creator. Everyone has a story and at some point in life we will endure a tough battle. Let's love more and judge less. What if we all loved like Jesus? What would this world look like?
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Through the Fire
She was born with a beating heart and she knew it was necessary, but she was still unsure if she wanted one or was given a choice. For the first time in a second that turned into a thousand years she returned to the place of time. She opened her eyes to a planet of feelings. She took a deep breath and said her final goodbyes to her paradise where only love ruled. Her highest and only form of existance was now intertwined with a lower form of herself. Ahhhhh, she's back to a heartbeat that is contained in walls made of flesh. She can hear it beating for the sole purpose of growth and existance. In a far distance was her gift. Pain, sorrow, anger, and bitterness was the bow and paper that laced it, but she knew that it was the most beautiful wrapping she had ever seen. She begins her long journey towards it. She knows that it leads her to understanding. As she takes her first step the process begins. With no memory of where she came from she's only left with a heart of knowing and a guide called intuition. Blind folded she walks through the valley with faith and no fear. The end of her journey revealed the ultimate prize. Her guide gently led her directly to her reward. It revealed to her that the beauty of her gift wrapping was only the beginning of discovery. Without it she would have nothing to unwrap. Blindfold removed, she looked ahead and saw her beautiful gift in a distance. She could hardly hold back her excitment and tears. As she approached it already unwrapped, it beamed brightly. The glowing light filled every space she stood in until it filled every portion of her heart. Her face was now illuminated with the same glorious light. The beauty in her journey led to the beauty of her eternity. It whispered to her, "YOU are now unwrapped. You are the gift. You are love. Love is all that's real." And in an instant her dreams were finally reality and she was allowed to leave the space of time.
Sunday, March 29, 2015
Black Hole
When time stops and a thousand lifetimes reveals your every role,
When all becomes a moment and a moment can no longer be defined by time,
When the sum total of your existence cannot be held in your mind,
It shines brightly against the night sky,
A movie projection of all your lifetimes.
It's a day, a year, a century as One,
It's everything you are and nothing at all,
It's every moment and every role,
Traveling through this tragic, beautiful black hole.
~me
~me
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
My Last Night Before Leaving For Kenya
I wrote this a couple of years ago and want to share.......
So, it’s the night before we leave for Kenya and I am so emotional. This is not a huge surprise for me but what’s surprising is where my emotions are coming from. This entire week leading up to tonight I have felt like I’m in a movie although I can’t make out what’s playing because this movie is on fast forward times four. From demands, requests, questions, and inquiries I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. I often hear friends say, "Take a deep breath and relax." Immediately I would say, "You’re right. I will do that." Just as soon as I try to "slow down" my phone will immediately start to ring with someone else’s crisis leaving me running around trying to "fix it." As I sat down to write this journal entry I realized that I am pulled in so many different directions from so many different people. At this very moment I have again thought about the significance of this trip and what it means to me and my daughter. We are leaving a country that moves so fast with the use of technology and cell phones and are going to a country where time stops. The worries that could be (like not having a cell phone) are often not a concern because they are just fighting to survive. There is a gratefulness that having breath is the greatest blessing one could have and living another day is celebrated. Breath alone is enough reason to call anyone "rich." I’m leaving a country where we have free education but we still find reasons to complain. Africa, as we all know, does not offer free education. Children become parents because parents die far too young all because they could not receive proper medical treatment or medication for a disease that could easily be treated. My point is this: I am slowing down, reassessing what’s important in my life, and readjusting. I will no longer be a part of this rat race. Life (to me) is more than the materialistic things of this world. People are dying all over this world (including the U.S.) from hunger, aids, polluted water, etc. How can I be content with my life when I have not done my part in extending a helping hand? How can I sleep well at night knowing that I have not helped? How can I turn a blind eye and say, "They will squander what we give them" when all they really want is to be shown how to fish, not just given fish.
In Matthew 25:35-40 (and you can read further if you dare) it says it perfectly:
Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you? "The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.
How can I turn a blind eye after reading that? This movie on THIS night is no longer on fast forward times four. I can now recognize the movie playing and it’s actually not a movie at all. It’s a story called "My Life". Let that story be a story of compassion, love, forgiveness, and my love. Let that story be one of living in the moment, remaining true to myself, and a search for my divine life purpose and soul mission. Let that story be an inspiration to all that see it. In all that I do…..I give all of the glory to YOU! God is my source, inspiration, and first true love. He resides on the inside of us all and He has made us all beautiful in His eyes.
Slow down, smell the roses, notice the sky, smile at the birds, and take in this beautiful earth that God has blessed us with. As I take a deep breath and relax, I sign off for now with God’s peace and love. Whatever you need from me can wait……Kenya HERE WE COME!!!!
So, it’s the night before we leave for Kenya and I am so emotional. This is not a huge surprise for me but what’s surprising is where my emotions are coming from. This entire week leading up to tonight I have felt like I’m in a movie although I can’t make out what’s playing because this movie is on fast forward times four. From demands, requests, questions, and inquiries I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. I often hear friends say, "Take a deep breath and relax." Immediately I would say, "You’re right. I will do that." Just as soon as I try to "slow down" my phone will immediately start to ring with someone else’s crisis leaving me running around trying to "fix it." As I sat down to write this journal entry I realized that I am pulled in so many different directions from so many different people. At this very moment I have again thought about the significance of this trip and what it means to me and my daughter. We are leaving a country that moves so fast with the use of technology and cell phones and are going to a country where time stops. The worries that could be (like not having a cell phone) are often not a concern because they are just fighting to survive. There is a gratefulness that having breath is the greatest blessing one could have and living another day is celebrated. Breath alone is enough reason to call anyone "rich." I’m leaving a country where we have free education but we still find reasons to complain. Africa, as we all know, does not offer free education. Children become parents because parents die far too young all because they could not receive proper medical treatment or medication for a disease that could easily be treated. My point is this: I am slowing down, reassessing what’s important in my life, and readjusting. I will no longer be a part of this rat race. Life (to me) is more than the materialistic things of this world. People are dying all over this world (including the U.S.) from hunger, aids, polluted water, etc. How can I be content with my life when I have not done my part in extending a helping hand? How can I sleep well at night knowing that I have not helped? How can I turn a blind eye and say, "They will squander what we give them" when all they really want is to be shown how to fish, not just given fish.
In Matthew 25:35-40 (and you can read further if you dare) it says it perfectly:
Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you? "The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.
How can I turn a blind eye after reading that? This movie on THIS night is no longer on fast forward times four. I can now recognize the movie playing and it’s actually not a movie at all. It’s a story called "My Life". Let that story be a story of compassion, love, forgiveness, and my love. Let that story be one of living in the moment, remaining true to myself, and a search for my divine life purpose and soul mission. Let that story be an inspiration to all that see it. In all that I do…..I give all of the glory to YOU! God is my source, inspiration, and first true love. He resides on the inside of us all and He has made us all beautiful in His eyes.
Slow down, smell the roses, notice the sky, smile at the birds, and take in this beautiful earth that God has blessed us with. As I take a deep breath and relax, I sign off for now with God’s peace and love. Whatever you need from me can wait……Kenya HERE WE COME!!!!
Touched by an Angel by Maya Angelou
We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.
Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.
We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love's light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.
Maya Angelou
I love this poem! It's one of my favorites. Don't be afraid to give and receive love! It's a beautiful thing. When you can do this you are truly free indeed!
Materialism
"But as an adult working in the fashion industry, I struggle with materialism. And I'm one of the least materialistic people that exist, because material possessions don't mean much to me. They're beautiful, I enjoy them, they can enhance your life to a certain degree, but they're ultimately not important." Tom Ford
If you’re not careful, you can get lost in materialism that is becoming more and more emphasized in our society. If we remember that everything in this world is temporary and subject to change; we can live in it with contentment regardless of our material possessions. It is important not to depend on external things for your happiness or validation. If you do, you can lose a part of yourself that is more than just the physical…..it’s the spirit within your physical that is the essence of who you are. Never allow materialism, a title, your degree, your social status, fame, money, or ANYTHING to become what validates who you are or what brings you happiness. Your spirit is much deeper than that and none of that can feed or nurture it.
So….enjoy your things but don’t let it tell the story of who you are! I have been taught the greatest wisdom from people that the world will never know of. They had very little material possessions. I was once told at a very young age, “Look around! Life is beautiful! The world is beautiful! You have all of the most beautiful things around you! The sun shines on you every day! All things are working together and all creatures on this earth have a purpose. Take notice! You were chosen to live here! You were blessed with abundance!”
I walked away thinking this: Wow Tonya, you can choose to see the beauty and abundance around you every day and realize how amazing it is to experience this life OR you can always think about what you don’t have or what you wish you had and not notice your abundance right in front of you which is your very own life.
I thank God for allowing my eyes to behold the beauty of this magnificent place! I also thank Him for blessing me with everything I have in my life. Gratitude is medicine for the soul. As I focus on how beautiful this place is; somehow all that I could ever ask for or think has been given to me by the Almighty! Yes, God has blessed me with abundance BUT I work very hard at being mindful of why I purchase what I purchase. Materialism will never become what feeds my soul. I’m grateful for it all BUT it does not define who or what I am. I am a spirit within this body that will one day walk out of this life into an eternal one. I will not take anything physical from this world into my eternal one BUT I will take with me the beautiful message given to me when I was a child by someone that the world will never know of.
All that really matters in this life is LOVE. We are not becoming love or learning how to love…….WE ARE LOVE! To love is to BE! Being is defined as the totality of ALL things that exist! It’s from THAT space of BEING that you realize that the gift of life and love is the totality. It’s also from that space that all material things are attracted to you. Appreciation can attract your manifestation! Don’t we all want to be appreciated? It’s human nature to want to be around people that appreciate us. Why would you think that your material blessings were any different? All things have a desire to be appreciated.
Appreciation will attract your manifestation! What is it that you’re trying to manifest? Have you taken notice yet of the abundance that God has already blessed you with? If you are breathing and reading this right now, you have been blessed with the greatest gift ever….LIFE! Be grateful because appreciation will attract your manifestation…..and sometimes your manifestation is not exactly what you expected but much better than what you could have ever imagined!
Sunday, February 15, 2015
I AM THAT - I AM
Being of light?
I am that - I am!
Mercy?
I am that - I am!
Love?
I am that - I am!
Grace?
I am that - I am!
Healer?
I am that - I am!
Deliverer?
I am that - I am!
I am ALL and ALL lives in me.
I am also you
For that I decree.
When you look at the world
use my eyes to see.
I am ALL and ALL lives in me.
Father?
I am that - I am!
I love you all dearly!
If you used my eyes you would see more clearly!
Love your neighbors from who I am.
I am that - I am ALL that - I AM!
Thursday, February 12, 2015
JUST LIVE IT OUT
The Bright White Light
It was a beautiful day. I was sitting on a yellow school bus and in an instant my life would change. Appearing behind my right shoulder it shined so brightly. The glow from this light was so intense that I knew I had to look straight ahead. I could not turn my head to see this miracle. I could only look straight ahead and feel the warmth of its presence. It began to speak so gently to me with words that were not spoken audibly. Somehow the telepathic communication between us was natural. It communicated faster than the speed of light and in a nanosecond I would understand what it would take a thousand lifetimes to comprehend. I laughed, I cried, I laughed some more, and then the feeling of extreme sorrow would not leave me. I begged and pleaded with this mysterious light being. I even had the audacity to debate with it. I did not like what I was being told but regardless of my tears and disobedient behavior, the beautiful light only poured out unconditional love towards me. It comforted me and wiped away every tear. It was the bearer of bad news but also the deliverer of agape love. It departed once the last tear was shed. The tears instantly stopped once this light told me my purpose. My purpose was directly tied to my tears. It would bring me great pain and sorrow but I would leave with great satisfaction in knowing that I fulfilled my life's purpose. Once the agreement was made, and my tears were gone, I was allowed to return. I was returning knowing that I had just agreed to live out my purpose.
I know that my life's purpose is not about me at all. I know that my life is a sacrifice for the greater good of humanity. I know that I am here to serve the needs of others. I just wish I remembered what this beautiful light said to me. I guess it's not meant for me to remember. I know that I have to just live it out.
Monday, February 9, 2015
My Heart Beat Is A Melody Heard Through My Eyes
The secret rhythm of my heart cannot be heard. Every beat sings a song that is telepathic. It can only be felt and known internally. This is what makes it a secret psalm. This is what makes it a sacred melody.
The refrain speaks of an undying love. It's a love so numinous and euphoric that words would dare not be formed to describe it. It's a language that only I know. It's a language that life will occasionally allow others to interpret. It's a tune that beckons your twin flame. It's an enchanting song so magnetic and powerful that you dare not turn the volume too loud for fear that the intensity of it cannot be handled.
Only few people will hear the secret song of your heart. The ones that will look into your eyes and see the spirit that lives inside of you. They can see the vivacity in your eyes. They somehow can see the very essence of who you are. They can hear your beats and they know every lyric by heart. It's an unexplainable heart to heart connection. Some living in this dimension and some that live in others. They know the light within you intimately.
It's for all of those reason that the ancient particles of the universe that makes up the whole of who I am continues to allow my heart to sing my song. It's for all of those reasons that my heart still beats to a rhythm.
The secret song of my heart beats the language of love itself. It loves me dearly. It's the reason I'm conscious.
But every song has an ending. When the song of my heart ends I hope that it will inspire others to loop it on repeat. I hope that they will join their refrain with mine to create a more beautiful sound. For the few people that were able to listen to my telepathic secret psalm, I hope you will share it with the world someday very distant from now.
My prayer is to create a beautiful song that I can leave behind. The lyrics are still being written with every precious moment and memory I create while I occupy this Earth. It will finally be played aloud for all to hear. What was once hidden inside of me and offered me life in this body will finally be set free!
When my heart beats stop, if you could not hear its song while looking into my eyes, you will hear it in the end and finally understand me. When you do, please promise me that you will play it on repeat.
The refrain speaks of an undying love. It's a love so numinous and euphoric that words would dare not be formed to describe it. It's a language that only I know. It's a language that life will occasionally allow others to interpret. It's a tune that beckons your twin flame. It's an enchanting song so magnetic and powerful that you dare not turn the volume too loud for fear that the intensity of it cannot be handled.
Only few people will hear the secret song of your heart. The ones that will look into your eyes and see the spirit that lives inside of you. They can see the vivacity in your eyes. They somehow can see the very essence of who you are. They can hear your beats and they know every lyric by heart. It's an unexplainable heart to heart connection. Some living in this dimension and some that live in others. They know the light within you intimately.
It's for all of those reason that the ancient particles of the universe that makes up the whole of who I am continues to allow my heart to sing my song. It's for all of those reasons that my heart still beats to a rhythm.
The secret song of my heart beats the language of love itself. It loves me dearly. It's the reason I'm conscious.
But every song has an ending. When the song of my heart ends I hope that it will inspire others to loop it on repeat. I hope that they will join their refrain with mine to create a more beautiful sound. For the few people that were able to listen to my telepathic secret psalm, I hope you will share it with the world someday very distant from now.
My prayer is to create a beautiful song that I can leave behind. The lyrics are still being written with every precious moment and memory I create while I occupy this Earth. It will finally be played aloud for all to hear. What was once hidden inside of me and offered me life in this body will finally be set free!
When my heart beats stop, if you could not hear its song while looking into my eyes, you will hear it in the end and finally understand me. When you do, please promise me that you will play it on repeat.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
I PROMISE I CAN
If it's warmth you need from the world outside,
I can travel a distance far.
I can light your path.
I can melt your heart,
I promise I can do it from a far.

I can burn your skin.
I can be intense.
I can melt your heart,
I promise I can do it from a far.
My light can travel to wherever you are.
Stop! Don't come any closer.
When you feel the sun
it can make you smile
But it has to do it from miles and miles.
If it's warmth you need from this world outside,
let me travel to where you are.
I can set your heart on fire.
I can do it from a far.
I can make it worthwhile.
I can bring back your smile.
I promise I can.
Stop! Don't come any closer.
I can burn your skin.
I can be intense.
I would tear you apart.
My fire would burn your heart.
But from miles and miles......I can make you smile.
I promise I can.
Monday, February 2, 2015
DON'T WAKE ME: GOD IS NEAR
DON'T WAKE ME UP: GOD IS NEAR
Is it possible to know a love so deep?
Is it possible to visit this love in your sleep?
Is it possible that my dreams are real?
In this life I cannot feel.
I have known a love so deep,
but it will only visit me while I sleep.
A love so strong that my body can't hold me back.
A love that pulls me through time and space.
My spirit and my heart fights to return here.
A place where love has to share its space with fear.
A place where our loved ones are near yet so far away.
A place where we can only get through life if we hold on to faith.
That place is a blessing and I won't complain.
But when I fall asleep
will you visit me again?
I hold on to your presence like a child's arms wrapped around your neck.
I smile when I remember where I will end up next.
This life indeed is a blessing-----YES!
But how can you take me there
and think that I will call this place the best?
I will treasure my moments and live life here to the fullest.
I will explore this Earth and laugh until I cry.
I will allow myself to feel even if I feel fear.
Just promise me one thing
that you will always be near.

I know because I visit it every time I fall asleep.
One day I will sleep and not wake-up here.
But I already know I will always be near.
No fear.
No tears.
I will always be near.
Until my life begins,
that's when we will meet again.
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